Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Being An Adult Stinks Sometimes

Being an adult stinks sometimes.  When I was a kid, I used to dream of who I would marry, what my kids would be like, where I would live, what vacations we would take.  I never considered tragedy would strike, but unfortunately, it does.

This post is dedicated to a few special moms in my life that have all gone through the worst tragedy any mother could face - the death of a child.  These women are role models of faith, that I admire, but they never signed up to be role models.  They just wanted to be mamas.  I know they appreciate the phone calls, texts, and cards telling them how in awe of their strength we are, but that's not what they really want.  They want a few more minutes reading bedtime stories to their babies.  They don't want to hear how you hugged your child a little tighter tonight; they just want to cuddle with their baby a little longer.  Whether they lost their child as a sweet infant, an ambitious child, or as an adult, their pain is the same.  We, as friends, try to say the right things, but often that falls short.  Our pity doesn't bring their babies back.

So, what can we do?  We can pray.  There is another person who knows what it is like to lose a son and He's our Heavenly Father.  We can pray to Him fervently and pray that He will provide their needs, whether it's peace, comfort, or understanding.  Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." 

Grief is a journey and no two people will follow the same path on the journey.  Continue to reach out to your friends.  You never know when the hand you extend to them will be exactly what they need on that particular day.  


If you're reading this and it applies to you, please know we mean well.  We never want to deepen your pain.  We are probably going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  And, please do not think that we don't want to hear about your precious kids, because we do!  Even if we never met them, we love to see your face light up as you talk about their personalities!  Really, we want to talk about anything that brings a smile to your face.  We love you. 


Sincerely, 

Emily



I'm linking up with Beth at Our Pretty Little Girls for Tuesday Talk.



20 comments:

  1. OH Emily!! Great post!! Please know I am praying for you and your friends in what is certainly the most difficult of times!!

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  2. Oh, such a sweet and sensitive post. These are such healing words for mum's who have likely had pressure put on them to "move on" with life rather than dealing with their grief as they should. Also , I love the name of your blog!

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  3. Thank you Emily

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    1. You're very welcome, my friend! Love & prayers to you!!

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  4. This post left me in tears. I know several mamas who have lost their babies at various ages and it leaves me so numb and heartbroken for them. I often just do not know what to say other than - I'm praying. Really, isn't that all we can do? Pray for healing and hope and peace. I'm wondering if something has happened in your area and right now just wanting to give you a hug to say I hope everyone your way is OK! xoxox sweet lady!

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    1. You're exactly right! All we can do is pray most of the time. I actually wrote in this post a few months ago & have been staring at it and tweaking it, but finally decided to post it today. But, I know my friends would appreciate the prayers, just the same. ;)

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  5. Agreed! Being an adult definitely does suck sometimes. I know a few people who have lost children or who currently have children battling potentially deadly illness and it's truly the saddest thing. I couldn't imagine going through anything like that. My heart goes out to your friends!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Leslie. It is an honor to consider these women friends & be able to pray for them.

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  6. What a lovely post. Your are a true friend. My parents lost a child before i was born, their pain never subsided.

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    1. I'm sure the pain is always present. Thanks for reading!

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  7. Such a rough topic and a sweet post.

    Being an adult just flat out sucks some times. Many times lately I have caught myself saying I just don't want to adult anymore.

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    1. Right!! Your post on waiting the other day kinda follows along those lines. Being a mommy is hard work!

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  8. I can't even imagine the loss of a child, but have deep empathy for those who have. I lost my mom two weeks ago and it's been super hard. Praying has helped me tremendously. And it's great that I have friends from church who have been supportive.

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    1. I am so sorry for your loss, Terra. I am thankful that you have found some comfort in prayer and are surrounded by prayerful people. Having that support system is huge!

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  9. What a great post! And so true about God knowing what we are going through. While I haven't lost a child, I have had a miscarriage recently and it was definitely hard. Thanks for this great reminder! Prayers for your friends!

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    1. Thank you, Crystal. Miscarriages are difficult, too. You're grieving a child you never met and an opportunity you wanted. Praying for you, too!

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  10. Praying for your friends. I can't even begin to imagine. I had a friend that lost a child in 2008. Over lunch one day I suggested she start a blog. It was a great outlet for her, and she met others that were going through the same thing. Of course there is still pain, but it is amazing to read how God has moved in her life.

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  11. You know I've lived over 50 years and there is not a lot that doesn't surprise me. Yet, losing a child - before their time and as a parent our time. IS the hardest life tragedy there is. Doesn't matter how old they are, even as we age, the natural order of the life cycle is parents go before their children. But, we know it doesn't always happen that way. So yes, prayers are necessary, but it is equally important to just be there for them. In whatever way they need. Sometimes it is just sitting with your friend and letting her cry, vent, release. I often think the words we say and the deeds we do are more for us and our sadness for our friend than it is for the parents going through the pain. Because there are never the right words! Your heart is good! Thanks for sharing this at my party this week, especially so close to Mother's Day where the pain is real on that day for many.

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